Don't let your emotions get the best of you.

I'm in my second year of high school, I find it very hard to tell what my emotions are. This week has been an emotional roller coaster. I'm having my big sixteenth birthday on sunday and I'm having a party on saturday. Now with being in high school there comes a time when certain obstucles get in the way. For instance, my best friend who I've know forever since birth just got a job, and I know that when you get a job along comes the factors you have to face with it too. So she just got this job and has to work. on my birthday. and will miss my party. But she is coming for atleast on hour or half an hour. So I wasn't upset about it, it was just wierd because since we were born we have never missed each others birthdays or parties. So then tuesday I find out a certain someone is coming to my party and I jump for joy around my house with the hugest smile on my face! And I'm thinking to myself this is going to be the best birthday and party ever. Oh but wait it just gets better! I also wrote a memoir essay on tuesday too for english which is by far the best writing I've ever done. Which I will get to that subject in a minute. So then my best friend and also fellow golfing friend told my wednesday night that she just found out she couldn't come to the party. because she had to go out of town with her family. She was so sad and of course since this week has already been a roller coaster I was very sad too. So me being the person I am now I told her it was alright and not to worry about it because she could make it up to me and that it was a stupid party anyway. Well to be honest with you deep down I felt like crying my eyes out. Two of my best friends weren't going to be at my party. Then OH wait it just gets better, so you know how I'm training to be an aspiring chef well if you didn't know I am, well I love to watch cooking shows and one of my favorite show is Top Chef on bravo well part one of the finale was on last night and being the big fan I am I always have favorites on the show. So I was very excited because my favorite chef on there, Sam by the way was in the finale by far the best chef there. So there are four chefs in the finale and they ahve to eliminate two chefs off part one of the finale and of course I knew Sam would make it ti the final two. Well that all blew up in my face last night when I heard Sam, please pack your knifes and go. So once I heard that Sam didn't make it to the final two I was shocked and I what did I do being on the emotional roller coaster that I'm on right now.... I cried. Yep after everything that had happened this week all the stress and planning for the party I cracked I had had enough. I told myself why why do I do this why do I watch these shows and pick favorites when I know that in the end my heart always gets crushed when the person who is MOST DESERVING and the one I want to win doesn't! Well now getting back to writing my memoir essay and getting away from the sad things, I have realized in the writings that we have done in english this week how easier it is to write to my hearts content when I'm having a bad week or a good day. I just realized how much I can express myself in writing when I need to get my emotions out. I know it sounds crazy but its true. I realized for once how I can just sit here and write everything that I feel I need to write and tell the world my emotions and I have just been so insipired from my emotions to just write my heart out on paper. I always knew writing came easy for me but now that I look at it and see how authors get their inspiation for things like their emotions. I just think about how lately every song I listen to I think about the lyrics and really listen to them and try to understand what te person is trying to say and tell us. Even though I've had a hard week I think that God has blessed me to realize my strengths in this even though it has been hard. I just feel the need to let my emotions out and tell people how I feel rather than keep them locked up inside of me. Well I haven't gotten my paper back but I hope that I atleast get a three on it.

What a Wonderful Life.

So this year seems like it is going to be a great year. I'm very excited about youth activties coming up and I'm very excited for Carolina Basketball this year. On November 11, I went to my very first Carolina Basketball game and I will always remember it. It was an exhibition game but I still felt like it was a real game. Even though they won by 39 points it was a very intense game. I was surrounded by 21, 750 of my closest friends. It was probably the greatest feeling ever. I remember sitting 4 rows away from the court as Psycho T(Tyler Hansbrough) came running down the court and dunking the ball like a gorilla. It the best feeling ever sitting in the student section shouting out U-N-C Go Heels Go, as the cheerleaders were cheering. Man what an awesome feeling to just be in a place where everyone loves the same thing and not thinking about stress and my team is better than your team kind of feeling, just having a good time screaming at the top of your lungs as your team makes a 3-pointer or a dunk. Man what a great feeling. Then theres The Fall Retreat my youth group went on in October. Even though I didn't go Rapeling (which I am afraid of heights) I did go caving a.k.a spaulcking. What an experience. It was honestly amazing how wierd the structures were and how pretty but yet scary it was inside the cave. And I have never been so dirty in my entire life. But it was very fun and I would love for everyone to try it. That weekend was so insipiring and I shared some things with the girls of the youth that really brought tears to my eyes. I really hadn't quite connected with the youth until that weekend. I always felt likt there were cliques but that weekend everyone came together and really made it a point to get to know each other and I just feel like we are family and can share anything with each other. I know its hard to believe that putting a bunch of teenagers out in the middle of nowhere to get them to come together sounds crazy but it really worked and now everytime I see the youth I think of that weekend and how much our youth needed to come together and we needed that weekend so much. Another retreat I love that we go on is Winterfest. All I have to say is WOW. This is another weekend of singing, praising the lord and just letting everything out in the open for god to take care of. Its truely on amazing weekend and I look forward to it every single year. If you like singing oh then Winterfest is the place to be. The singing is absolutely AMAZING. I truely brings tears to my eyes just listening to all the teens singing their hearts out to the lord. Its my favorite part of Winterfest. Oh man I could go on forever but all I'm trying to say is that God has truely blessed me with such great christian friends and weekends to praise his name but you should praise him everyday. I just love God so much and I just wish he really knew how much I do and try to live for him everyday. I thank him so much for putting me in a christian home and blessing me with two christian parents who love each other, man I just take it for granted everyday. I just bless him for letting me be the person I am today because I wouldn't change anything about me. I just look at my cousin who have messed up their lives an want to fix it and I just learn from their mistakes and not to rebel and honor my parents. I just think my parents should be honored to have a kid like me not to brag but the pound all this stuff in my head about doing right and they thing it goes in one ear and out the other when really I take it in and listen and want to succed in life. I could just go on for hours abou this but God has truely blessed me with the freedoms I have and blessing me with a Wonderful Life.